My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
