But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There r osticjed everywhere
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
