Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
