I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize