Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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