And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
