Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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