I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
