i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
