2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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