I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
