this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
