Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
