Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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