I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize