I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's rum buckets o'clock
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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