she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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