i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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