I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My life is pants optional.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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