Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
