I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
