WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
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Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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