Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
