i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
