So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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