Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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