How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.