Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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