And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize