one two three fourrrrnication!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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