I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
