my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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