what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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