Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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