the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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