My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think my moral compass just broke
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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