My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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