Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
