and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
