ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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