I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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