I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
