I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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