Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
