Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
