Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
