Swine flu. Run for my life!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We talked him into tasing himself.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
