ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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