Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
