she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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