Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
