I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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