Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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