I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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