You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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