its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Randomize
