Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
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this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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